Cowboys Nation 2014 - Romo Denied MVP - Lawsuit pending?
I can't believe Greg Hardy isn't coming back. Luckily the Cowboys have tremendous defensive depth so it shouldn't be an issue - but still, I'm disappointed.
I found this while looking for information on the new franchise QB... but I thought some of you Giants fans might appreciate the full read. Be sure to check the 'fan' comments - they're hysterical.
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-dallas-cowboys-1784456648
Drew Magary
7/28/16 2:03pmFiled to: WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS 2016
This is a team still caught between the lunacy of Jones and the relative stability of his son, who now runs the day-to-day operations. Imagine the number of times that Garrett has had run to Stephen Jones after getting wind of Jerry’s idea to have Chris Christie sit in on offensive line meetings. It has to be well into double digits by now. The old man is like a rabid hyena locked in a cage, scratching at lock and just DYING to get out so that he can sabotage his own team, drill for oil in your pool, and **** your niece. Jerry’s become so antsy that he has to **** with OTHER NFL teams in order to get his power fix. If his son won’t let him sign Johnny Manziel, he’s gonna move the Rams to LA instead. I can’t believe this wildcatting ****-for-brains is the shadow dictator of the entire league.
Your quarterback: Tony Romo… for one month! Yes, you get one month of playoff aspirations before this happens again:
With a withered spine and a collarbone that’s been reconstructed by Stark Industries, Tony Romo’s career is all but over. It should be a felony to let him take the field ever again. Someone is gonna rip out his scapula and stab him in the face with it. I can’t bear to look. Get away from football, Tony. You’ve got a family and a decent golf game. End this madness. Go retire to a life of unfathomable leisure before someone tears your ******* head off out there.
Once Romo hangs up his loosely fitting jersey for good, your backup options are Kellen Moore, seen here auditioning for the lead role in Simple Jack 2, and Mississippi State legend Dak Prescott, who was acquitted onDUI charges just this week. Oh wow, a famed college player with legal issues? He’ll fit right in with this band of idiots.
What’s new that sucks: Hey, Darren McFadden broke his elbow! And you’ll never believe how! No really, you won’t believe it at all…
Actually, you CAN make it up, especially if you were piss drunk when you hurt yourself. But don’t despair, Cowboys fans. Your team drafted human rocket sled and possible woman-beater Ezekiel Elliott to run the ball and spiritually fill the void left by Hardy’s rifle pile. AND you signed Alfred Morris! Why sign Alfred Morris? Look man, you’re gonna be playing Rex Grossman from off the street by Week 8. You’ll need all the backs you can get, and preferably ones that are NOT supervillains and/or on the verge of getting slapped with a 783-game suspension.
Also, the Double J drafted a guy who just had his leg die seven months ago, and he did it just one year after drafting Randy Gregory, who is already on the verge of washing out of the league. What bargains. As always, the Cowboys are less notable for their actual draft choices than the players Jerry Jones wanted to draft but did not. This year’s Double J wet dream was QB Paxton Lynch. In an alternate dimension, Jerry drafts ALL the quarterbacks. A team of fifty quarterbacks is unbeatable!
Tony Romo is 36, and increasingly banged up, and it’s time to start thinking about his replacement. …Read more
And Sean Lee hurt himself AGAIN. Can someone get this poor bastard some retirement papers already? Here is an actual headline about Sean Lee from this offseason:
Cowboys linebacker Sean Lee’s dream is to play all 16 games for Super Bowl contender
Jesus, what a sad dream. “Inspiring! NFL Player Dreams Of Not Dying!”
What has always sucked: **** this organization. Most of their fans STILL don’t live in Texas.
Everything you know that is bad about modern sports—from antiseptic concession stands to repulsive stadium boondoggles—comes from Jerry Jones’s strategic vision of taking an NFL franchise and using it as a crowbar to open up every available bank vault. He’s probably already writing off last week’s bus crash on his tax filings.
In Jerry Jones’s NFL, the game of football itself isn’t a priority. It’s simply a means to get into the more compelling and lucrative business of brand licensing and one-sided parking revenue agreements. This is why the NFL can’t figure out what a ******* catch is. They don’t CARE. They’re so busy breaking ground on a new media center in Inglewood that the game is left to rot.
This is Jerry’s fault. As far as he’s concerned, this team’s only job is produce TV content, regardless of quality. The offense has no depth whatsoever. Half the defense is suspended. And yet I will still be forced,Clockwork Orange-style, to watch this team multiple times on national television this season. Do you realize that Jerry owns the largest and most expensive stadium in the universe and STILL can’t figure out how to issue tickets properly? This ******* guy.
The Cowboys are a perfect avatar for Dallas, a city that is both large and utterly pointless, surrounded by shithead housewives with Make America Great Again hats, bad roots, and Botox injected directly into their brains. This is a city where a woman was mauled to death by a pack of wild dogs. In 2016! Knowing Dallas, they probably treated the dogs for their injuries first. I hope that, when the aliens come, they make vaporizing the Metroplex a priority.
What might not suck: “It’s one of the best offensive lines in the league!” you will say to yourself as the offense bogs down at the opposing 40 and Garrett elects to punt on third down.
Let’s remember some Cowboys:
Kaepernick will probably be cut soon (not for the Anthem thing). The Cowboys could sign him. I bet he would be super popular with 'Mericuh's team.
Rape someone, kill someone, Cowboy fans don't care. Sit down for the National Anthem? No way they could forgive that.
ska said:
Rape someone, kill someone, Cowboy fans don't care. Sit down for the National Anthem? No way they could forgive that.
Exactly. I don't see Kap being a good fit with the 'Boys.
Predictably, a number of white people are losing their s*** over Coin Kaepernick.
http://heavy.com/news/2016/08/colin-kaepernick-jerseys-burned-set-on-fire-effigy-fans-angry-national-anthem-racism-san-francisco-49ers/
What a lot of these yahoos don't seem to get is that patriotic rituals are only meaningful if they are not coerced. Standing at attention or pledging allegiance is only worthwhile if we are free not to participate. And the only way we can know that we are free not to participate is when people like Kaepernick don't. By compelling everyone to observe the way they do, these idiots are making us less free by demanding that no one express any dissent.
Trying to coerce Kaepernick to stand for the National Anthem helps prove Kaepernick's point.
Maybe Kaepernick should memorize the playbook during the National Anthem.
ska said:
Rape someone, kill someone, Cowboy fans don't care. Sit down for the National Anthem? No way they could forgive that.
I think you mean "ALLEGEDLY rape someone, ALLEGEDLY kill someone, and possibly ALLEGEDLY beat your wife".... but point taken.
Go Cowboys!
which cowboy killed someone? a Panther did, or, at least hired someone to kill someone but that guy's in prison.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/brent-180-days-crash-killed-cowboys-teammate-article-1.1590325
Congratulations to the undefeated Houston Texans. Glad to see some Texas fans with a little to feel good about.
At least it was a close game - hopefully the Cowboys stay in it this season so Tony can return and lead them to the Super Bowl.
Sorry Case.
Judging by merchandise sales, Cowboys are still America's Team
You can also judge by hottest cheerleaders or most money spent on a stadium - but America's Team? Not Jerry's Kids!
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Honestly, it's the best possible thing that could have happened. Finally get Romo out of there and possibly the Cowboys can come roaring back to their former high levels of performance. I bet we see an 8 and 8 season again this year. Maybe even a playoff visit (and not the kind of playoff visits the Cowboys have had for the last 10 years, where someone gives them tickets - I mean they actually show up and play).
I'm praying that Johnny Football shows up, but not even Jerry is dumb enough to pull that thread - my prediction is that they actually spend some money on a QB that can get the job done and NOT need extra time off from practice for rehab or anger management classes or court-mandated appearances.