Official Dallas Cowboys Thread (the others aren't; litigation pending)

Just an update for the "Official" thread - Cowboys are now 23 in the Power Rankings.  I mean... they sucked last year too, but you know how some people are always so desperate to find nice things to say about a team that they'll drag out all kinds of statistics.

Go Cowboys!

Oh how things have changed from a year ago... again, the Cowboys never went anywhere but at least they gave the impression they were a football team.  Not so much now, though.

I wonder if someone were to yell "Nice hat, loser-boy" and laugh maniacally if that would count as a "warm and enthusiastic" greeting?

ligeti said:

For example: when I wear my Cowboys cap downtown, everyone greets me warmly and enthusiastically. 

Cowboys are now No. 6 in the ESPN power rankings. Ahead of SF, New England and Indianapolis. Yup. 

Dez Bryant jersey is #1 sellar among all wideouts. 

I am getting a Cowboy blue star tattoo on my leg on Saturday. 

I rode the downtown E train with a guy wearing Romo jersey today. 

That slams the lid on that one.

Looking past the obvious wit and intelligence of these memes, I'm always taken aback by just how ACCURATE they are:

Romo comes back this week.  NOW, we're going to take the division by storm!

Hey everybody, is this the thread about the Cowboys?

Ridski, this is THE OFFICIAL Cowboys thread.  It may have been abandoned as a lost cause... most of the fans may be digging themselves into a deep hole in the ground until next year... once-proud tattoo-bearing hat-wearing Cowboys fans may have finally been silenced... but regardless, this is the official thread.

There are a few others out there with last year's Fan Posturing and Bravado - but honestly?  I think they can be ignored.  Sure, it's fun to live in the past... God knows Cowboys fans do... but we should focus on the future.

As ml1 says, last week was a bit of a false start.  THIS week is when the Cowboys run the table... as Dez promised, they will "run the East".  And since the Giants have to play real opponents for the rest of the season, who knows?  We could be celebrating another Tony Romo return to the playoffs pretty soon.

ligeti said:

How about I drop by on the way home from work and poke your eyes out? What's your address?

It would be almost sad if this wound up being the last comment of the OP on this thread.

Dallas ahead 14-0 at halftime!  Tony Romo threw a touchdown pass!  Looks like this is the start of the march to the playoffs... who knows, we may even see a few Cowboys fans come back if this keeps up!

What the... there was like 1 minute left in the half.  How did the Dolphins score while I wasn't looking?

Anyway, who cares, Romo has this game in the bag.  

A few minutes left... get ready for the triumphant return of the Cowboys Fans!

Who knows?  I may be able to give up moderating the Official thread, at least until February.    

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case said:

A few minutes left... get ready for the triumphant return of the Cowboys Fans!

Who knows?  I may be able to give up moderating the Official thread, at least until February.   "> 

I was SAVING this one!  But I have to say... well played!

And yet strangely inaccurate.  Maybe the OP is busy with NFL Europe, trying to convince all those European women that the expansion of the NFL won't lead to a rise in domestic violence cases.

OH!  I can't prove this... and maybe it's just a delusion... but I could have sworn that towards the end of the Cowboys game the PA system was playing inspirational music (as they do), and the song was "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio.

A bit on the nose, wouldn't you say?

At any rate, to maintain my position as de-facto Leader of the Official thread (due to absence - yes, let's call it absence), let me say that I just have the absolute YUMMERS for Thanksgiving football this year.  My theory is that the Panthers are not going to take the Cowboys seriously whatsoever.  After seeing Tony in mid-season form yesterday (only 2 interceptions against a rock-solid Dolphins D, come on!) that the Cowboys should win this game.  From there it's easy.  Luckily the Bucs are terrible and we get to play them twice in the games before the playoffs.

And again - not sure who "we" are but I'm trying to fulfill my self-imposed obligations here.  Go Cowboys!  

why is out of city football fanship tolerated in this Country.  In baseball, the only way someone's a Pirates fan is being from Pittsburgh.  In football, it seems being a Steelers fan from Fresno is somehow acceptable.  It's no wonder we're all doomed.

Well, Robert, I can't really speak to that.  I like football, of course, and I think that people who are loyal to their teams are an important part of the game.  Now... when it devolves into true fanaticism, that's another story.  When someone who's not even in-shape enough to bend down and pick up a football starts in with, "our offense..." and "we really dominated that 4-5 team"?  That's when I have to shake my head a bit.

I guess the saddest thing to me about the die-hard fans is when they give up their team pride... when they realize that their team IS a bunch of overpaid felons.  When they finally come to terms with the fact that their fan peer group shoots people in parking lots, and is more than likely sending checks to a "Build the wall and keep Mexicans out" project.  Let's tell it like it is: when you realize that your fellow fans are gun-toting rednecks who think that the real issue with Greg Hardy is that "he couldn't get his girlfriend to shut her trap fast enough".  That terrible, sad moment when they are faced with the reality that their team's GM really IS a dolt.  Sure, there's the emotional pain of realizing you were backing a misogynistic old fool and a bunch of felons.  But there's also the true physical pain of having your team tattoo removed (or at least covered up).  

I'm guessing that really makes you re-evaluate.  Growth is hard, but it's also necessary.  It takes time, and it's a process.  

Anyway, how did things get so serious on the Official thread?  I'm forgetting my duties as Moderator.  Right now I'm sure Tony Romo is laying in a special hyperbaric chamber (much like the one Michael Jackson used, but I'm sure Tony's is wrapped inside and out with bubble wrap - after all, he's delicate).  Tony will be ready to continue the Cowboys winning streak.  

Did you guys know the Cowboys are UNDEFEATED this year?  (When Tony Romo is at QB, that is, but it's still a valid statistic).  

See y'all in February!

Hmm.  Tuned in a little late to the game (had to baste the turkey... and no, that's not a euphemism).  Apparently Tony lasted 45 seconds before throwing an interception.

Don't worry, Dallas Faithful.  Keep those Victory Protocols poised for activation - we're just getting our bad luck out of the way early.

Hopefully the Victory Protocols are ready to be activated - after getting knocked on his ass at the end of the third quarter, this is where Tony will rise up and win the game.

I mean, he IS famous for his 4th quarter performances right?

Can someone get me caught up?  I left the game after the third play from scrimmage.

Did Tony Romo throw for at least 2 touchdowns?

Did Dez Bryant make any spectacular catches now that he's teamed with one of the best elite quarterbacks in the game today?

How many sacks did Greg Hardy have in the first three quarters?

I just have the absolute YUMMERS for the rest of this game.  Thanksgiving day dinner is over, now it's time for some dessert:

Wow!  Did you guys see that amazing catch that Dez almost made?

Wow!  For some reason Tony couldn't find the end zone but look at Matt Cassel go!  There's nothing like garbage time to bring out the best in the Cowboys.

Attention all Dallas Cowboy fan:

Please SUSPEND Cowboy Victory Protocols until further notice.

As your Official thread moderator I will let you know when the time comes.  Until then, dry clean those Dallas caps, oil your Cowboys tattoos and await further instructions.

ligeti said:


3. Wait till Greg Hardy, Randy Gregory, Rolando McLain, Bryant and Romo are back on the field. We’ll incinerate everyone. Count on it.



Everyone is so excited for me this season!

Waiting... and waiting... and waiting...

Awaiting callback from Jerry.

Just send him a tweet, Ligeti!

Now I see that the OP is back after what I'm sure was a vivid and exciting imagination-based journey... but while we wait to see if the nice calm doctors and nurses have gotten the meds right THIS time, I'll continue to update certain aspects of this thread:

case said:

Deep in my heart, I know that the originator of this thread would want me to maintain accuracy above all else.  Not sure where he is but rest assured it's something very important, very meaty...

case said:

case said:
9. Sure, the Patriots will probably beat us. Maybe the Packers, too. F#%& them, A-holes. Especially the serial cheaters Brady and Belichick.
Edited:

Sure, the Patriots will probably beat us. Maybe the Packers, too. And the Saints. And the Giants. And the Seahawks. And the Eagles. F#%& them, A-holes. Especially the serial cheaters Brady and Belichick.

This is getting to be a pretty long list.

9. Sure, the Patriots will probably beat us. Maybe the Packers, too. And the Saints. And the Giants. And the Seahawks. And the Eagles. And the Buccaneers. And the Panthers. F#%& them, A-holes. Especially the serial cheaters Brady and Belichick.

Now... there may not be photos of Ligeti watching the Cowboys after week 2, but I did manage to find one of him at this year's Cowboys Thanksgiving party.

5. There's a picture below of a Cowboy party I went to last year.

And I think this Official thread, much like the Cowboys season since week 3, is done.  Perhaps I'm wrong and something will spark a little conversation but... 

It could be worse.

Not sure how, but it could.

I have the Carolina defense on my fantasy team. The 'Boys got my week off on the right foot. Thanks Tony, for the pick six.

ml1 said:

I have the Carolina defense on my fantasy team. The 'Boys got my week off on the right foot. Thanks Tony, for the pick six.

Weren't there TWO Tony Romo interceptions for touchdowns in that game?

I mean, it's not Tony's fault... the refs were clearly biased.  Plus Tony was coming off only 3 days rest after dominating the Elite Miami Dolphins.  And Dez... Dez had a cold, but you didn't hear him complaining - he just went out there and earned his $70M.  

Anyway, all of this is meaningless - next year, now... whew!  Just wait until next year!

I bet next year the Cowboys Victory Protocols will be activated every week, not just when a Cowboys player beats his wife or girlfriend.

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