Official Dallas Cowboys Thread (the others aren't; litigation pending)
ml1 said:
case said:here you go:
I'm doing by best to keep up the Cowboys side of things - but I'm not a real fan. If I were, I'd probably need Doc and Marty to get in their Delorean and rescue me from the past.
To be fair, there are a lot of NFL commentators who are also stuck in 1996. I'm so sick of hearing how great they are - STFU already! Tony Romo isn't fit to wipe the grass off Eli's cleats.
ligeti said:
How about I drop by on the way home from work and poke your eyes out? What's your address?
This is hurtful
it seems that "man meat" is upset I don't see why... He abandoned his thread when his team lost one or two (ok - 6) games and I've done my best to keep the thread alive like a true Cowboys fan would
I don't get it. Should I have made more references to the 90s? Talked about how great Roger Staubach and Don Meredith were? Made some delusional comment about how happy people are when they see a Cowboys fan?
I guess I just don't understand what being a Cowboys fan is all about, Linus.
CAN ANYONE HERE EXPLAIN WHAYT BEING A COWBOYS FAN IS ALL ABOUT?
(Apologies to Charles Schultz)
You know, the more I think about it the more I'm annoyed. Here I am doing my best to help… Doing my best to perpetuate this thread and talk about how awesome the cowboys are… And what do I get?
Am I appreciated? Do I hear, "thanks for keeping my thread alive while I was busy doing important Man-Meat things that I cannot discuss because they're ultra important and totally secret"?
I do not.
Instead I receive threats! Profound threats that I take quite seriously given the source – because everyone knows the person making threats is a thoughtful and serious poster.
I am honestly at a loss. I realize that making such personal threats are against the Maplewood online guidelines… But what should I do? I feel like if I were to complain officially that would just increase my risk. I find myself in the same position as Greg Hardy's girlfriend… Should I go to the police? Probably not a good idea! Only in my case I doubt I am going to be the beneficiary of a huge cash settlement. Unfortunately I may be on the receiving end of 200 pounds of enraged late middle aged man meat It is truly terrifying to contemplate.
I rue the day that I ever decided to selflessly take up the mantle of "Cowboys apologist". At the time I simply felt that we needed intelligent discourse… And since I am one of the most intelligent people I know, I naturally assumed that I would be the logical candidate to provide both sides of the question in a fair and balanced manner. I mean really… How hard could it be to put forth positive things about the Dallas Cowboys? Their fan base is barely literate. I figured I could do it easily.
But now I face a new challenge. Perhaps I am being paranoid… Again, given the seriousness of the threat I believe I am justified… This is one of the few posts from this individual that have not been edited. What is the significance of this fact? Could it be that this person has been threatening me over and over and over again, only to regret his/her rash comments and retract them?
If this is in fact the case, what does it mean that this latest threat was not edited? Could it be that this individual has snapped? Should I fear for my safety? Should I suspend mail service to my home, to avoid a Unabomber delivery?
Now I realize what many of you are thinking right now. You're thinking, "come now case, we all know this poster is completely full of crap. Do not worry yourself! Relax in the knowledge that this individual is as impotent as can be. A "Walter Mitty for the 21st Century" who is no more a threat to a real man such as yourself as would be any other anonymous Internet bully, spewing hateful comments and lashing out against a society that has rejected him".
For those of you who are thinking these things let me say "thank you". After imagining your heartfelt comments of support and admiration, I have decided to not request this individual be banned to preserve my own safety. Instead I shall endeavor to rise above this kind of petty squabbling. I shall continue to be a beacon of truth, of light, of hope… In short, I will continue to point out the many, many failings of the Dallas Cowboys and their loyal but misguided Fanbase.
Jerry Jones is a moron. Tony Romo is adequate at best. Dez Bryant is a good receiver, but someone needs to take him into the locker room and smack some sense into him. Greg Hardy is an abomination. Should he be forever banned from football? Maybe not… But he needs to get his ***** together, not be coddled by a delusional old man in a billion-dollar stadium.
Cowboys fans are the worst types of human beings on the planet. Yes, eagles fans have their faults – but not even the Eagles would have tolerated this kind of ridiculous behavior.
Good night and God bless you all.
PS - see you in February!
case said:
You know, the more I think about it the more I'm annoyed. Here I am doing my best to help… Doing my best to perpetuate this thread and talk about how awesome the cowboys are… And what do I get?
Am I appreciated? Do I hear, "thanks for keeping my thread alive while I was busy doing important Man-Meat things that I cannot discuss because they're ultra important and totally secret"?
I do not.
Instead I receive threats! Profound threats that I take quite seriously given the source – because everyone knows the person making threats is a thoughtful and serious poster.
I am honestly at a loss. I realize that making such personal threats are against the Maplewood online guidelines… But what should I do? I feel like if I were to complain officially that would just increase my risk. I find myself in the same position as Greg Hardy's girlfriend… Should I go to the police? Probably not a good idea! Only in my case I doubt I am going to be the beneficiary of a huge cash settlement. Unfortunately I may be on the receiving end of 200 pounds of enraged late middle aged man meat It is truly terrifying to contemplate.
I rue the day that I ever decided to selflessly take up the mantle of "Cowboys apologist". At the time I simply felt that we needed intelligent discourse… And since I am one of the most intelligent people I know, I naturally assumed that I would be the logical candidate to provide both sides of the question in a fair and balanced manner. I mean really… How hard could it be to put forth positive things about the Dallas Cowboys? Their fan base is barely literate. I figured I could do it easily.
But now I face a new challenge. Perhaps I am being paranoid… Again, given the seriousness of the threat I believe I am justified… This is one of the few posts from this individual that have not been edited. What is the significance of this fact? Could it be that this person has been threatening me over and over and over again, only to regret his/her rash comments and retract them?
If this is in fact the case, what does it mean that this latest threat was not edited? Could it be that this individual has snapped? Should I fear for my safety? Should I suspend mail service to my home, to avoid a Unabomber delivery?
Now I realize what many of you are thinking right now. You're thinking, "come now case, we all know this poster is completely full of crap. Do not worry yourself! Relax in the knowledge that this individual is as impotent as can be. A "Walter Mitty for the 21st Century" who is no more a threat to a real man such as yourself as would be any other anonymous Internet bully, spewing hateful comments and lashing out against a society that has rejected him".
For those of you who are thinking these things let me say "thank you". After imagining your heartfelt comments of support and admiration, I have decided to not request this individual be banned to preserve my own safety. Instead I shall endeavor to rise above this kind of petty squabbling. I shall continue to be a beacon of truth, of light, of hope… In short, I will continue to point out the many, many failings of the Dallas Cowboys and their loyal but misguided Fanbase.
Jerry Jones is a moron. Tony Romo is adequate at best. Dez Bryant is a good receiver, but someone needs to take him into the locker room and smack some sense into him. Greg Hardy is an abomination. Should he be forever banned from football? Maybe not… But he needs to get his ***** together, not be coddled by a delusional old man in a billion-dollar stadium.
Cowboys fans are the worst types of human beings on the planet. Yes, eagles fans have their faults – but not even the Eagles would have tolerated this kind of ridiculous behavior.
Good night and God bless you all.
PS - see you in February!
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your support, vermontgolfer. I only hope that you have not earned the enmity of ManMeat - trust me when I tell you the stress is unbearable.
Oh, and I just found this one!
Thanks case, but I'm not terribly concerned, except for all the Cowpies fans
Since Jerry missed the boat on domestic violence perhaps he could put some money into suicide counselling - probably a good idea given the current emotional state of the fan base.
If all the Dallas fans jump off a cliff, who will fill that huge billion dollar stadium?
Even Philadelphia admits that Greg Hardy is a "perfect addition" to the Cowboys. Everyone is really excited for us as we begin our playoff drive! Everyone likes me because I'm a Cowboys fan! I'm so glad I bought this new Cowboys cap!!!
http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/eagles/20151109_Greg_Hardy_a_perfect_addition_to_Cowboys__dysfunctional_family.html
Greg Hardy a perfect addition to Cowboys' dysfunctional family
Owner Jerry Jones, himself once accused of sexual assault, figured Hardy deserved another chance, and all that money, and didn't even care much that Hardy would miss the first four games of the season serving a suspension - the quick return to which Kelce referred.
In fact, Jones told "60 Minutes" that he couldn't be sure that Hardy - a 2013 Pro Bowler with 15 sacks - was guilty, and Jones has said he considers Hardy a "leader."
Two weeks ago Hardy slapped the clipboard from the hand of a Cowboys coach then bumped into the coach. Hardy needed to be restrained by, of all people, sideline brat Dez Bryant.
Sunday night, for no discernible reason, Hardy shoved Matt Tobin after an extra point and drew a personal foul penalty. After the play he again appeared to spit venom on the sideline when approached by a coach.
Jerry's newest leader.
Perhaps that's because Hardy fits the Cowboys' outlaw image.
The franchise basks in its unsavory reputation. It invites attention to its most unsavory elements; it spotlights the least commendable of its components. For instance:
Sunday night, as usual, the Cowboys ran onto the field en masse 50 minutes before kickoff. The first player featured on the 23,000-square-foot video board:
No. 76, Greg Hardy.
Hardy's lurid history overshadowed a game fascinating on its own merit. The most pertinent personnel issue: The Eagles were playing without future Hall of Fame left tackle Jason Peters, who, incidentally, would have faced Hardy most of the night.
Instead, third-year right tackle Lane Johnson made his first NFL start at left tackle, which meant fourth-year backup Dennis Kelly made his first start at right tackle since 2012. They did fine.
The Cowboys played well, too. They were not distracted.
Why would they be?
This is Cowboy Culture.
From Michael Irvin's bizarre shenanigans to Barry Switzer's arrest for carrying an illegal gun at the airport to Joseph Randle's arrest in February for possession of marijuana that led to his release this week, Jerry's 'Pokes get caught in more embarrassing and illegal situations than members of Congress.
They are sport's emblem of garish greed. From the audacious spaceship stadium to their comely sideline entertainment, the Cowboys equal carnality.
Yes, almost every team has cheerleaders, but nobody bares it and shares it like those ladies.
Considering the depth and lineage of this herd of hedonism, what's one more black sheep?
The cries of outrage are correct: Hardy never should have played another NFL game, even if it took the NFL's most stringent powers of self-discipline (and collusion). Participation in the League is a privilege . . . unless you're too valuable.
Would anyone be surprised if Hardy beat another woman? Anyone?
But he's too good for exile.
Former Ravens running back Ray Rice, on the other hand, is more easily ignored and replaced. After video surfaced of him punching his then-fiancee, colluding to exclude him was much easier.
ligeti said:
How about I drop by on the way home from work and poke your eyes out? What's your address?
For those of you who have expressed concern, thank you - and so far I'm fine. Both my eyes are functioning normally.
No sign of suspicious packages, no one lurking around the neighborhood - I think I may have over-reacted a bit. This seems to have been just a little more hot air...
case said:
No sign of suspicious packages, no one lurking around the neighborhood - I think I may have over-reacted a bit. This seems to have been just a little more hot air...
he was supposed to poke your eyes out first and then his own. but maybe he got the order wrong.
case said:
If all the Dallas fans jump off a cliff, who will fill that huge billion dollar stadium?
Fans of the visiting team, like most weeks. Imagine how many visiting fans would pack that stadium if the city of Dallas had any redeeming value to tourists?
Superstar Dez Bryant was unfairly incited by the Cowboys-hating media this week:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/cowboys/2015/11/13/jason-garrett-dez-bryant-jerry-jones-tirade-locker-room-dallas/75707978/
IRVING, Texas — Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett said Friday that Dez Bryant should have handled his interaction with the media differently than the episode that played out in the team’s locker room Thursday, when the all-pro wide receiver unleashed a lengthy, profanity-laced tirade directed toward multiple reporters.
“Dez shouldn’t be in that situation,” Garrett said. “If someone is going to incite him, just remove yourself from the situation.”
...
When Garrett walked into the locker room and stood near the entrance. Bryant yelled to him, “Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. They (expletive) dirty, coach! They’re dirty! They’re dirty! All of them! And especially you (Klemko)!”
It's a real pressure cooker here in the 4th quarter but win or lose, I think we've really seen what the Cowboys can do against a comparable opponent.
They're ahead by 3 - keep dominating, Dallas!
OK - nothing to worry about - a crafty backwards run caught the Bucs by surprise as it was intended to do... I'm sure Dez will pull it out.
OK, OK, nothing to worry about. Dez was displaying clock management skills when he dropped that ball - obviously the best thing to do in this situation is punt and turn it over to the completely ineffectual Bucs offense. This is good football, people.
OK, Cowboys fans, no problem - there's no shame in going to overtime and winning the game there.
OK fans, no problem, it's only one touchdown, the 'Boys have DEZ BRYANT, he'll save the day.
Well.
First off, Cowboys Nation, please suspend Cowboys Victory Protocols.
Second, it's pretty obvious that those refs were HATERS. There's no way Dez Bryant wasn't interfered with, otherwise he'd have made that catch and won the game. Dez is a premier receiver, truly hall-of-fame quality. Don't believe me? Just ask Dez, he'll back me up.
I have to admit that I didn't watch the game, just went to NFL.com for the last 10 minutes or so. Even though I didn't actually see any plays, I could tell that the Cowboys are primed and ready for Tony Romo's return.
I must admit that I was wrong when I predicted the Cowboys would win this game... and even though I don't really deserve it, I'm still going to treat myself to a nice piece of pie tonight.
Whew. Just watched that last interception and... did Dez realize the play was still going on? Was he running to the locker room? Thinking about his postgame interview? I mean, damn! That multi-million dollar receiver didn't seem to try very hard, did he?
Not sure if Romo can fix that problem. Luckily the Dallas defense has Greg Hardy leading them; I didn't check his stats but I assume they were outstanding.
See you all in February!
I just realized that I'm still the moderator of this Official cowboys thread. Sorry for my lapse, here we go:
1. We (still not sure who 'we' is) have 5 Super Bowl Rings!
2. Everyone (not sure about that one either) is so happy for me because I'm a Cowboys fan!
3. Now that we've got Dez AND Tony back, we're unstoppable!
4. Our cheerleaders are still the hottest ones in the entire league!
Deep in my heart, I know that the originator of this thread would want me to maintain accuracy above all else. Not sure where he is but rest assured it's something very important, very meaty...
case said:
case said:This is getting to be a pretty long list.
9. Sure, the Patriots will probably beat us. Maybe the Packers, too. F#%& them, A-holes. Especially the serial cheaters Brady and Belichick.
Edited:
Sure, the Patriots will probably beat us. Maybe the Packers, too. And the Saints. And the Giants. And the Seahawks. And the Eagles. F#%& them, A-holes. Especially the serial cheaters Brady and Belichick.
9. Sure, the Patriots will probably beat us. Maybe the Packers, too. And the Saints. And the Giants. And the Seahawks. And the Eagles. And the Buccaneers. F#%& them, A-holes. Especially the serial cheaters Brady and Belichick.
In my role as Official Dallas Cowboys Thread moderator, I thought I'd dig into the archives. Isn't that what Dallas fans do? Focus on the past?
here you go: