Inconsequential Chat
PASADENA, CA—Sequestered in a private booth at a Pasadena-area Cheesecake Factory for nearly 25 minutes, a party of eight California Institute Of Technology physicists emerged exhausted but visibly excited Friday evening after successfully splitting the bill.
“This is an important day for us, not only because it marks Professor Newbury’s birthday, but because we have accomplished a feat thought unimaginable ever since Eisenreich found that it was impossible to calculate how a group of paired bodies, set in motion by the presence of a solid-state check, could come to rest at a non-variable, evenly distributed mathematical constant,” said lead party organizer and theoretical physicist Dr. Cynthia Dreyfuss.
Before the arrival of the check, several early bill-splitting theories were proposed, including a simple process of dividing it into eight identical fragments, the Random Contribution Model, and a theory posited by Newbury himself—who insisted that he was bound to treat everyone—which was widely rejected on the basis that it would undermine the whole objective of the evening.
“When the check came, we all immediately agreed that the total of $284.57 could be defined as an irrational number of dollars for a party of eight to spend at a chain restaurant,” said Dreyfuss.
The team of physicists decided to test Dreyfuss’s Pay For What You Ordered Algorithm, which hypothesized that it was possible to determine what each individual owed by defining variables such as the cost of one’s entrée, the total number of beverages one consumed, one’s percentage of the sum ingestion of the component parts of the Firecracker Salmon Rolls and Buffalo Blasts, and “six bucks toward the birthday boy’s meal.”
The process, however, was hindered by Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, as group members failed to document how many drinks they ordered, and those sitting in the vicinity of graduate student in particle physics Susan Politzer suspected that she deliberately falsified her findings regarding the resonant frequency with which she consumed the $7.95 El Diablo margaritas.
“According to the Distribution Of Wine Theory, everyone should chip in $5 to pay for it,” gravitational-wave specialist Arjun Patel said. “But after careful observation, the theory falls apart: the bottle never moved from the other end of the table, and Tom Steinbaum was clearly seen staggering in a non-uniform circular motion whenever he got up to use the bathroom.”
As the bill approached absolute zero, the scientists found that the closer they got to completely breaking it down, the more difficult it was to calculate.
“When we kept coming up short by $15, we thought the solution might lie in a damped simple harmonic oscillator, so we mapped complex modes of vibration in diatomic molecules, found the zero-point vibration of the n=0 ground state, studied the motion of atoms in a solid lattice, and formulated the theory of heat capacity,” Patel said. “Turns out we were on the wrong track, but it was helpful to know what definitely didn’t work.”
“Then we remembered to factor in Kiminiski’s Constant,” Patel added, referring to the integer named after planetary-physics professor David Kiminiski, who departed before the check came but left a $20 bill.
While determining the tip would normally have been dictated by the Law Of Gratuity, which holds the sometimes volatile figure steady at 18 percent, factions within the group nonetheless argued over two competing theories for dealing with the problem: standard variations, and the newer 20 Percent Courtesy Hypothesis.
“Taking into consideration the fact that Hideo 's Cajun Chicken Littles were primarily made up of dark matter, the waitress’s low kinetic energy, above-average mass, and weak attractive force, we devised a formula in which we moved the subtotal’s decimal point one place to the left,” Dreyfuss said.
The group celebrated by making plans to all go out to Charlie’s Steakhouse next weekend in an attempt to find the largest prime rib.
“This is an important day for us, not only because it marks Professor Newbury’s birthday, but because we have accomplished a feat thought unimaginable ever since Eisenreich found that it was impossible to calculate how a group of paired bodies, set in motion by the presence of a solid-state check, could come to rest at a non-variable, evenly distributed mathematical constant,” said lead party organizer and theoretical physicist Dr. Cynthia Dreyfuss.
Before the arrival of the check, several early bill-splitting theories were proposed, including a simple process of dividing it into eight identical fragments, the Random Contribution Model, and a theory posited by Newbury himself—who insisted that he was bound to treat everyone—which was widely rejected on the basis that it would undermine the whole objective of the evening.
“When the check came, we all immediately agreed that the total of $284.57 could be defined as an irrational number of dollars for a party of eight to spend at a chain restaurant,” said Dreyfuss.
The team of physicists decided to test Dreyfuss’s Pay For What You Ordered Algorithm, which hypothesized that it was possible to determine what each individual owed by defining variables such as the cost of one’s entrée, the total number of beverages one consumed, one’s percentage of the sum ingestion of the component parts of the Firecracker Salmon Rolls and Buffalo Blasts, and “six bucks toward the birthday boy’s meal.”
The process, however, was hindered by Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, as group members failed to document how many drinks they ordered, and those sitting in the vicinity of graduate student in particle physics Susan Politzer suspected that she deliberately falsified her findings regarding the resonant frequency with which she consumed the $7.95 El Diablo margaritas.
“According to the Distribution Of Wine Theory, everyone should chip in $5 to pay for it,” gravitational-wave specialist Arjun Patel said. “But after careful observation, the theory falls apart: the bottle never moved from the other end of the table, and Tom Steinbaum was clearly seen staggering in a non-uniform circular motion whenever he got up to use the bathroom.”
As the bill approached absolute zero, the scientists found that the closer they got to completely breaking it down, the more difficult it was to calculate.
“When we kept coming up short by $15, we thought the solution might lie in a damped simple harmonic oscillator, so we mapped complex modes of vibration in diatomic molecules, found the zero-point vibration of the n=0 ground state, studied the motion of atoms in a solid lattice, and formulated the theory of heat capacity,” Patel said. “Turns out we were on the wrong track, but it was helpful to know what definitely didn’t work.”
“Then we remembered to factor in Kiminiski’s Constant,” Patel added, referring to the integer named after planetary-physics professor David Kiminiski, who departed before the check came but left a $20 bill.
While determining the tip would normally have been dictated by the Law Of Gratuity, which holds the sometimes volatile figure steady at 18 percent, factions within the group nonetheless argued over two competing theories for dealing with the problem: standard variations, and the newer 20 Percent Courtesy Hypothesis.
“Taking into consideration the fact that Hideo 's Cajun Chicken Littles were primarily made up of dark matter, the waitress’s low kinetic energy, above-average mass, and weak attractive force, we devised a formula in which we moved the subtotal’s decimal point one place to the left,” Dreyfuss said.
The group celebrated by making plans to all go out to Charlie’s Steakhouse next weekend in an attempt to find the largest prime rib.
Merely restated and applied Bistromatics.
http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Bistromatics
http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Bistromatics
Feline Physics Laws
Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion: A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics: Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat Obstruction: A cat must lie on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of Cat Acceleration: A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation: Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction: Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking: A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Milk Consumption: A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing: A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Fluid Displacement: A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion: A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics: Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat Obstruction: A cat must lie on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of Cat Acceleration: A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance: Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation: Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction: Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking: A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Embarrassment: A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Milk Consumption: A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing: A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Fluid Displacement: A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition: A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Proposal from on high goes awry.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-12-14/dutchman-tries-to-pop-question2c-destroys-house/5965790
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-12-14/dutchman-tries-to-pop-question2c-destroys-house/5965790
It seems Aussie babies understand the Canadian accent better than they do the Aussie accent.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-12-12/aussie-babies-find-it-easier-to-understand-canadians-study-says/5964606
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-12-12/aussie-babies-find-it-easier-to-understand-canadians-study-says/5964606
Look at the season from the tree's perspective:
http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/40f3a9cad3/the-annual-christmas-massacre-a-tree-s-perspective
Love this country! Christmas Day weather around Australia, courtesy of our Weather Bureau (temps are Celsius and windspeeds are in kilometres per hour):
Hottest - 30-degree minimum at Broome in Western Australia's north and Cloncurry in Queensland's west and 42-degree maximum at Julia Creek in Queensland's west and Nyang in Western Australia's northwest
Coldest - 3-degree minimum and 10-degree maximum at Mt Read in Tasmania's west
Wettest - 70mm in the Victoria River Downs area in the Northern Territory's north and on Cocos Island northwest of WA and 60mm in the Dubbo area in New South Wales's central-west
Cloudiest - 2 hours of sunshine at Bourke in NSW's north-west, Mt Isa and Birdsville in Queensland's far west and Tennant Creek in the NT's interior
Sunniest - 13 hours of sunshine in Perth in WA's southwest and in Woomera and Loxton in South Australia's north
Windiest - 95km/h at Cocos Island and 80km/h at Neptune Island in South Australia's south
Calmest - 20km/h at Halls Creek in WA's north
Hottest - 30-degree minimum at Broome in Western Australia's north and Cloncurry in Queensland's west and 42-degree maximum at Julia Creek in Queensland's west and Nyang in Western Australia's northwest
Coldest - 3-degree minimum and 10-degree maximum at Mt Read in Tasmania's west
Wettest - 70mm in the Victoria River Downs area in the Northern Territory's north and on Cocos Island northwest of WA and 60mm in the Dubbo area in New South Wales's central-west
Cloudiest - 2 hours of sunshine at Bourke in NSW's north-west, Mt Isa and Birdsville in Queensland's far west and Tennant Creek in the NT's interior
Sunniest - 13 hours of sunshine in Perth in WA's southwest and in Woomera and Loxton in South Australia's north
Windiest - 95km/h at Cocos Island and 80km/h at Neptune Island in South Australia's south
Calmest - 20km/h at Halls Creek in WA's north
From another forum:
I just love Christmas. Waking up to see that santa has left me naff all again.
Still, we’re have venison as part of lunch. Haven’t told the kids yet.
I just love Christmas. Waking up to see that santa has left me naff all again.
Still, we’re have venison as part of lunch. Haven’t told the kids yet.
Forget six white boomers ... how about this one knocking Santa's sleigh out of the sky.
Roo vs. drone
Roo vs. drone
Then there's ...
Version 1
https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/183075953
or
Version 2
http://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F183075953
Great experimental soundbite, marksierra - except I had to get to the desktop to get it to work. 
(I hope that's the sigh)
Took quite a bit of fiddling around too. Nothing works on the other thread.
(I hope that's the sigh)Took quite a bit of fiddling around too. Nothing works on the other thread.
joanne said:
Great experimental soundbite, marksierra - except I had to get to the desktop to get it to work.
Which version were you able to see and hear?
That's interesting, because I used the same code on both threads.joanne said:
Took quite a bit of fiddling around too. Nothing works on the other thread.
The second version works for me, but only on Word/desktop installed software and only in this thread. In the other thread, even seeing the link is patchy (which may be our connection -it's not consistent at present, even had probs with iview).
On the other thread, can't get anyone's coding to work.
On the other thread, can't get anyone's coding to work.
I'm so pleased I'm still using a dumbphone - especially after seeing this article - http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/saturdayextra/divided-minds-why-its-tempting-to-text-and-drive/5979888
Then there's -
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/i-disorder---the-psychology-of-technology/4071112
(Click on the Show transcript link)
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/i-disorder---the-psychology-of-technology/4071112
(Click on the Show transcript link)
http://charles-hrh.com/2013/07/27/ones-letter-to-prince-george/
The link at the bottom (am I allowed to say that? Perhaps 'remote end' may be a better form of words) points to http://www.amazon.co.uk/Prince-Charles_HRHs-guide-Great-Britishness/dp/1472216261/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412158194&sr=8-1&keywords=charles_HRH
The link at the bottom (am I allowed to say that? Perhaps 'remote end' may be a better form of words) points to http://www.amazon.co.uk/Prince-Charles_HRHs-guide-Great-Britishness/dp/1472216261/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412158194&sr=8-1&keywords=charles_HRH
Forget feeding birds strips of meat ... this snake eats wallabies!
http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/dec/30/python-devours-entire-wallaby-in-front-of-northern-territory-park-rangers
http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/dec/30/python-devours-entire-wallaby-in-front-of-northern-territory-park-rangers
Jan 7, 2015 at 9:50pm Edited
Elwood Beach, Melbourne, Australia.
Wed 7th January, 2015, as a summer electrical storm rolls in.
(Photo by Natasha Johnson, ABC (Australia) News)
Wed 7th January, 2015, as a summer electrical storm rolls in.
(Photo by Natasha Johnson, ABC (Australia) News)
Not mine, unfortunately. But thank you, I meant to put a credit with the image, which I've now done.joanne said:
Stunning pic!
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