Transgender Pre-Teen

my 11 yr old niece has told me she is really a boy. She told me this first about 9 months ago, then her dad, then her mom, then her grandma. She struggled with severe depression and suicidal behavior about a year ago and went on antidepressants which seem to be helping although she still has self- loathing and is not the happy, fun-loving child she used to be. I am sure this is all related (and exacerbated by her ridiculous home life with selfish, disinterested parents- she truly hates her parents). In any case, at the time, she said to please call her by her (somewhat masculine) nickname rather than her girly full name but said she didn’t want to do anything else. She sees an excellent psychiatrist for her depression/ medication. And a less than excellent weekly psychologist who frankly, I don’t really think is helping her at all. Her father chose him because (likely), he was cheap. So, question 1) does anyone have connections or personal knowledge of a good child counselor on Long Island with expertise in both depression and transgender issues?

Next, she asked me for help this weekend, buying more boyish clothes so we went to Gap and Old Navy and got some men’s shirts and shorts. She then asked me not to tell anyone but could I buy her a chest binder. Is anyone familiar with these? I’m worried about any potential health risk of wearing one of these at such a young age. This poor child began menstruating and was fully developed with a size DD bra by about 9 1/2- 10 years old. I am so sad for her, because if we had known, she could have taken medication to delay puberty which would have helped on so many levels (she has been ostracized and ridiculed relentlessly over the past 2 years because of what she looks like).

Any other advice for helping this child? Says she doesn’t want to be called a boy or “he/ him” right now (not too many people know) but she is so uncomfortable in her own skin, my heart breaks for her. And oh, god the teasing/bullying of this poor sweet kid. She’s not interested in any kind of group of similar teens or a camp or anything like that. I’m kind of at a loss for how to help especially with what she says she doesn’t want. Mostly, I just want to keep her alive and if she can be happy too, well great. 

I felt so sad reading this I just started googling and there is a transgender resource center on Long Island:

https://trcli.org/

Looks like a good place to start, but I don't know anything about it and perhaps you already looked there. 

Dear, you’ve posted much about your advocacy for the kids in this family. I’m filled with emotion and feeling your love and compassion for them. You’re an amazing blessing to them.

There are a number of people in this community with first hand knowledge, I hope they have ideas for you. I have a good friend who is involved with this work at The lgbt center in the city, I’d be glad to give you his contact info, he may know of resources in Long Island.