The General 'Seniors' Chat thread

Our son mentioned renting a hospital bed. Would Medicare help?

If the bed were prescribed, Medicare would likely rent it for you.

Not to be a downer in the Seniors section here, but I just received email this morning from a niece saying that my BIL (the widower of My Darling Sister, whom some may remember from the greenemom thread 4 years ago), is falling into dementia.

This is a guy I've known since I was 3 and he was 18, one of the very most capable and reliable people I have ever known, not saying he wasn't opinionated too (with some "wrong" opinions imo) and could be very hard on people he didn't approve of, including at times his own kids.

This is surprisingly hard to take. Apparently I've assumed he would always be there, able to advise on construction & other dilemmas, singing, cooking, and commenting.

The up side (!) is that he still enjoys company, sitting on the porch, and telling stories; and he voluntarily gave up driving a while back. Further, a daughter and granddaughter are living with him, taking care of the house etc., and now taking care of him as well, the daughter always a marvel of calm and capability, so that is working out well. Since they have been living in the same town almost 60 years (same house since 1971), hopefully she will find the resources she needs when things get more difficult.

Sorry for running on here. Just processing.

Anyone who has the energy and spare thought, if you remember, pls say a little prayer some time for FIL, Cyril.

You may remember he had an unexplained trip/fall around the beginning of May, that resulted in two fractured neck vertebrae, not picked up for a week. The major consequence of that is not only a more pronounced stoop (so bad it's a wonder he can breathe), the dementia progressed alarmingly.

Last night (Kol Nidre) he had another tumble, and after being shunted to two hospitals, and waiting several hours, the decision was made to operate this morning. He's broken at least one hip, has a bad black eye, and a host of other injuries. Given he has osteoporosis and kidney disease, plus I'm doubtful the neck healed well, I don't think this looks good.

D's brothers are agreed to do what they can to get him walking again. Otherwise, it's preserve dignity. BIL J stayed until 1am. It's just on 7am now.

Sigh.

very sorry to hear about your FIL. Since May my husband has endured much. So difficult to see loved ones suffer.

Prayers for a return to home and family soon.

For you it's just after 2 am, for me it's 4:15pm. We've had phone consultations all morning, with the call just after 11am that his blood pressure was so low we had to get to hospital immediately. Thankfully, with everyone around, anfpd pretty nurses to hold his hand (!), he rallied again. Surgery is postponed until other things such as his lungs, kidneys, heart and eye (fracture around the eye, so it's hard to keep oxygen or other masks there)clear a little. Meantime he keeps begging to get up because he doesn't understand or remember he has a catheter, and he won't let staff go home at the end of their shifts.

We're home for a little, going back in a bit.

Thank you for your PVs.

A very sad day. Cyril Gould died at 8:30 this morning, Brisbane time.

so very sorry to hear of your family's loss -- prayers and good thoughts to you all.

Love is stronger than death..................when one is remembered they have never really left us.

Cherish the memories and the thought that we will all be together again one day

He sleeps just for now

Love is stronger than death..................when one is remembered they have never really left us.

Cherish the memories and the thought that we will all be together again one day

He sleeps just for now

Agape

Condolences. May he live on in the fond memories of the time you spent together.

Condolences to you and family, joanne! It's hard no matter when or how it comes, I think. I hope soon you will remember him more as he was "before," and the memories will be a blessing to you. Sigh.

One sweet, teaching moment in this sadness: pre-paid funeral plans can be amazing value! (Yes, we know they can also be traps for some)

After living in Brisbane for over 30 years, they moved down to the Gold Coast. Back in '99 Cyril made sure they swapped their old plans from Brisbane to the local Jewish burial society, and the funeral directors associated with it. Yesterday the company rep (a lovely man) looked at the file, looked at what had been paid and laughed. 'Yes, that'd about cover our admin fees these days', he said. Everything's covered, there's nothing to worry about.

Oh, @joanne It has been a long journey for you and shemademedothis. I send my sincere condolences to you and the family. I know your hearts must be broken, and yet lightened.

thank you, musicmz! It has indeed been a revelatory experience, and this past week has seemed like months. (How can it be only one week since that phone call??!)

At least just now everyone is talking, everyone is getting on. Family from Canada (cousins on his father's side) have rung, cousins from Sydney came for the day, Brisbane cousins are back in touch ... It's good to have family reunited again.

Others are also ailing, and in the last few days at least one may have had a TIA. He's ok now, but it's long term deteriorating illness. Too sad. It's good we're all back in touch to help emotionally.

"all back in touch," the first blessing

hugs from afar, (((joanne)))

I just read this . I am so sorry to learn of your loss. Condolences to you and your hubby.

Today we received cards from the family of pharmacists that looked after the family's needs when D and his brothers were babies. The funeral directors kindly forwarded them. What a surprise!!

Copihue, thank you for your kind thoughts.

I had the same experience. Pharmacy also sent flowers to the funeral parlor.

the surprising thing here, Joan, is that no-one has had contact with them since 1993 when my in-laws moved from Brisbane. I think they may have retired before my in-laws did. It's so thoughtful of them, after all this time.