Having been through this extremely difficult postpartum period several times, I can empathize. Many of us in the Maplewood community can offer you referrals. Shame on you, "RobB," for choosing toilet humor and misogynist jokes instead of helping out.
A friend of mine works for CalmBabyRN and it sounds great!
http://www.calmbabyrn.com/
(No personal experience as my kids are in their 20s, but no grandkids yet.)
Promote your business here - Businesses get highlighted throughout the site and you can add a deal.
Coffee mugs $1.50
More info
I'd love to hear recommendations for baby nurses or post partum doulas in the area who offer night services