Help returning to work, please
You also built that ramp for me, which was a real lifesaver. Besides giving me back my independence at a time when I thought I had lost it, it was a real help to Bernie when he needed it during his final illness. There are so many ways to help others, often without realizing how much help you are truly providing.
I wonder if you could do something through Arts Unbound. Creative expression can be very good at rewiring the brain in a positive way and the work produced by their artists is selling well. Doing non-permit requiring carpentry is another possibility, little need for spontaneous verbal communication on a high level and something for which you have already demonstrated both aptitude and skill.
Good luck.
Can't offer much help or advice but just know that this community has your back. I am sure someone here can suggest something. We all are behind you, BF!!
Are you focusing only on peeps who you know or are you willing to look other places? Is there a particular type of work you'd like to do? Can you commute or looking to stay close to home base for now?
Good for you man, get back out there!!!
I believe there are already a couple Opportunity Project members involved there (or some other local arts community, can't recall the name) but I don't have any consistent artistic talent. Carpentry yes, but on my own I'm not all that organized as of yet. Still working on that with an OT.
I do not have any suggestions off hand but this happening to you right after your Sandy issues really sucks. I really hope things turn around.
bikefixed said:
- I still know the rudiments of software but the tools I knew/know are dinosaurs now.
What software?
(Any coding? HTML? Spreadsheets? Databases?)
Many of the jobs I see posted are the types of jobs in which a person has to deal with the public quite a bit. How do you feel about that and are you looking for the type of position that might have you dealing less with the public? You mention a medical background which is a wonderful skill to have. Healthcare administration positions which would combine both the software and medical background? Maybe insurance companies looking for former nurses or doctors to review medical appeals? Medical coding?
I assure you that you are not chickening out. A MOL post is one of the most non-chicken ing out things you could do! 
bikefixed said:
I believe there are already a couple Opportunity Project members involved there (or some other local arts community, can't recall the name) but I don't have any consistent artistic talent. Carpentry yes, but on my own I'm not all that organized as of yet. Still working on that with an OT.
By your OP, you have demonstrated that you are ready to take the plunge. This involves a lot of courage and not a little risk. Don't be afraid to accept help from others in achieving your goal.
Through your own efforts over the years, you have demonstrated that none of us is truly alone in any endeavor we might pursue. This applies to you every bit as much as those you have helped. Neither of the suggestions I gave you are do-it-by-yourself and neither requires that you have the perfect skill set this moment to pursue either on your own.
You don't need any consistent artistic talent to work with Arts Unbound. They provide training,support, and encouragement. That is what makes them such a wonderful resource. I wish you would at least explore it, especially since you mention that other Opportunity Project members have worked with them successfully. They would know how to work with someone looking to transition from a TBI.
Regarding the possibility of doing something with your carpentry skill, you admit that you still have the technical skill to do this work. You should be able to find someone to help you with the organizational skill set part of the enterprise until you are better able to handle it on your own. Ask your OT if there are ways you could break such a set of tasks down into simpler components you could handle more easily once you are ready to do so..
Wishing you good fortune, BF. You have given me advice in the past right here on this board and I appreciated it. I wish you were able to work as an advocate for people dealing with health issues, but I think that would take great organizational skills. Can you do something with bikes? Teach bike repair or repair bikes?
As another survivor with TBI, patching yourself together gets easier - as I'm sure you know by now! The great thing we have going for us is the strong personality we had beforehand, for so long; easier to reassert as time goes on.
It's good to see you back!
(If I were there instead of in Queensland, I'd have a part-time casual job for you starting in January. All our jobs are part-time casual, in this workplace, but they're ongoing contracts)
Hi BF-
I'm another MOLer you offered your help to. Was just thinking that more random acts of kindness (like yours) is certainly what the world needs right now!
Since you mentioned Whole Foods, would you consider Trader Joe's? There was a sign recently at the Millburn store that they were looking for people. The staff there always seems like are trying to be helpful...I don't think they are allowed to be crabby . Not sure if they/corporate has any particular relationship with BI community or not. I'm just throwing it out there...Best of luck!
berkeley said:
Hi BF-
I'm another MOLer you offered your help to. Was just thinking that more random acts of kindness (like yours) is certainly what the world needs right now!
Since you mentioned Whole Foods, would you consider Trader Joe's? There was a sign recently at the Millburn store that they were looking for people. The staff there always seems like are trying to be helpful...I don't think they are allowed to be crabby. Not sure if they/corporate has any particular relationship with BI community or not. I'm just throwing it out there...Best of luck!
I've heard good things about TJ's re workplace environment also.
There are several things about stores like groceries, pharmacies or home improvement places that would be good. Flexible part-time for one since I don't think I'd be up for a lot of hours. They don't do that type of schedule for returning to work. It's called 'job carving' where a person starts at low number of hours like 2-4 per week. To see if they can handle it and are a fit. I still would like to try a bigger challenge first though.
Thanks for the responses so far, by the way.
Someone mentioned in another job-related thread that the nonprofit sector is likely to experience a boom in response to political developments .
A couple of job sources: idealist.org, njnonprofits.org, even craigslist has a nonprofit section. Smaller nonprofits can be pretty flexible and if you are willing to start as a volunteer in a needed capacity, it may morph into paid work (my experience.)
I don't see how a 2 - 4 hour a week job would preclude your doing something "a bit more challenging" besides. You would be committing a very small portion of your work week to a self diagnostic activity that would give you a very good idea of just how ready you are to plunge into a more demanding situation.
Are you still singing? If so, joining a professional church choir or the equivalent would give you a few hours a week of doing something you have enjoyed in the past and hopefully still do.
I'm still looking at some opportunities but have yet to fund a good fit. Some are too easy or so simple as to not be inspiring at all. Others are probably too much for me right now but those are the ones that feel worthwhile to try to do. Finding a place that has the right things I aspire to but is also willing to compromise/accommodate/be patient/whatever is the problem.
I do know from past experience that I have a tendency to oversell myself in terms of abilities. That got me into job situations that I then struggled and failed to meet expectations. I hate knowing I've fit the term "all hat, no cattle" and I don't want to have a part in that movie again.
As for singing, I still perform with the Piedmont Chorale (the formerly Carrollton Chorale). I also sing at our church. I suppose making a few bucks singing for another church is an option but I prefer church being something prayerful rather than feeling like a performance. Might be a luxury we cannot afford now.
bikefixed said:
There are several things about stores like groceries, pharmacies or home improvement places that would be good. Flexible part-time for one since I don't think I'd be up for a lot of hours. They don't do that type of schedule for returning to work. It's called 'job carving' where a person starts at low number of hours like 2-4 per week. To see if they can handle it and are a fit. I still would like to try a bigger challenge first though.
Thanks for the responses so far, by the way.
I was talking to a Trader Joe's employee this morning. She said that TJ's is very good about flexible hours . A lot of people only want to work a few hours a week. She also said that TJ's provides medical benefits to all employees who work 30+ hours (it used to be 20.)
I wish you well. I don't know you personally, but I do know that when anyone on MOL needed help, you were there.
I think if you worked as a carpenter's helper, you would shine! You would get a lot of satisfaction out of the excellent work you do.
Do you remember much of life before your accident? If not, I have a memory I would like to share with you privately, as it might help.
Tom_Reingold said:
Do you remember much of life before your accident?
It's strange. I do remember the stuff I knew already. I don't always remember things that I did or that happened before the accident though. I at least have pictures and stuff to read again. And stuff people tell me. After the crash it's like wanting something good, fast and cheap but only getting to pick two. [Unintentionally dirty sounding] There's what, when, why, who, how, etc and I usually get 2 or 3, never knowing which of them it will be either.
Another thing to add is what I sorta call a "good ol' days" factor. Unlike athletic performance and training where you have your historical data to look back on there's nothing like your half-marathon personal best time for assessing your cognitive status before and after a brain injury. You also have your past medical history to examine but you rarely have prior neuropsychiatric evaluations for comparison. BTW, those things are long and involved and getting through them has sucked. No surprise that they're not part of your yearly physical although I'd put up with it if jersey_boy gave it. He's helped me through this crap.
Anyway, the bottom line here is that some BI survivors who are conscious and aware are faced with a dilemma. I'm considered high functioning and I want to get back to the way I used to be in all the different cognitive areas, only I don't really know what that is. I'm certain I think I was a lot better than I truly may have been. Thus, I'm probably chasing a version of myself that probably never existed. Ooooh, such drama. [Go over to the toilet so you can puke, it's okay. I'll wait.] I should also stipulate that you probably won't find anything legit about it with Google. It's just my scientific wild-*** guessing.
I wrote more about this stuff on line for BI folks but I have to go back and re-read it if I want to remember. At least I could figure out how to use WordPress enough to do it. So there's that.
The self awareness you describe is great progress in and of itself. Perhaps keeping a progress journal with just a few behavioral/cognitive observations each day could help you chart your progress and get a better idea of the before/after; yesterday/today/tomorrow thing. Nothing long or elaborate. Think bullet points followed by short phrases or sentences. Emphasize actions: Remembered ___, Performed ___ . Solved __ problem. Was able to do ___ Include level of independence (on my own. with hint(s), with help by ___). Chart failures too so you can see fluctuations.
I don't know if this would work for you, but you might consider the example of many of the millenials I know. They have several, often unrelated, part-time jobs and/or businesses. Some self-employed (e.g. dog walking/pet sitting, housecleaning, handyman, babysitting, etc.), others part-time gigs for an employer (usually in retail.) If they lose one, it doesn't remove all their income, and they then look for something else to fill the new gap.
I might need help in a couple of those areas myself. PM me if you'd like to discuss.
I will keep an ear out for you, and please let me know if you pursue TJ's, I know a couple people there. You have paid so much forward, here and IRL, that I know good things will come back to you, in "It's a Wonderful Life" fashion. Anyone who drives out on a Sunday to fix a friend's kid's bike brakes deserves all good things!
Trader Joes? My only advice would be to not mind-pluck it. Just get out there and try stuff.
Bikefixed, you're probably doing now what you've always done really well but never noticed (and now it's too small and slow while you're eager and impatient): learning and relearning incredibly well, laying down new skills and recovering bits of memories that are deeply buried. There's a lot buried there, and while you're doing the archaeology and rehab, you're also living and rebuilding i.e. naking new memories so it's multi-layered and complicated stuff for your neural connections to sort through 
Some specific stuff will come back as time goes on, because of all this great effort you're putting in. And the stuff that doesn't probably would have gone anyway, with normal ageing. People just don't talk about it until much later.
Hi all,
I actually had some job leads from this thread. I do thank you all who posted here or messaged me. I had an informal coffee interview with a person about a tech position. Entry level software and in the city. I even managed to rehearse the commute up around the northern end of the A train. Alas, my credentials aren't convincing or at least weren't for that situation. I should say that I've been helping maintain my church's website (a WordPress construct) and put together my own basic blog site without too much trouble. I'll just have to keep at it while I continue to rehab.
So, I'm still looking. Something more local world be good but at least I proved I can go into NYC and not get overwhelmed. That last sentence looks so pathetic but there it is.
Onward I suppose.
Look at interviews not as a way to get a job but as rehearsals for future interviews. I've done this, and it has helped me, and some surprising successes happened, too.
I've debated this with vocational counselors and have decided to disclose here. In May of 2014 I sustained a serious traumatic brain injury during a race up in the Catskills. I know some of you are aware but frankly I don't remember much of anything from the past couple years. I'm told that I've been a common example of higher functioning TBI survivors in that I seem mostly okay. No ugly scars or disfigured appearance, not much noticeable physical impairment and pretty good cognitive status, at least in the stuff I write (I can take time to review and edit). I just have trouble formulating thoughts and spoken communication on the fly but I'm faking it pretty well from what I'm told.
Inside though, things are still fducked up and so I'm still working at getting myself back to being me - or at least who I think I was. I look back on my FB feed and MOL activity and wonder if it's real or not but at least it's there and durable. IRL however, you could tell me anything about the last 2 years and I'd have to believe you until I could check. Like that diamond tennis bracelet Ms. bikefixed says I premised her.
Anyway, I believe I've improved enough this year to attempt getting back to meaningful work. I've been volunteering and doing a couple part-time jobs but a TBI survivor is an expensive human to maintain. I want to get back to a real job.
The DVR and Opportunity Project have been helpful this year and it's now time to get out there. I've considered applying at Home Depot (or similar) or Whole Foods. There are local businesses that have a relationship with the OP for employing the BI community but none of those are what I'd like to try just yet. I see all the above as last resorts if I have to but I want to try something that I feel would be more meaningful.
You could say I'm chickening out on having to prove myself again, and it's a fair point, but I'm asking in this community because I'm hoping to find work where people already know me. Or knew me before the accident. Or have known me these part couple years - again, I don't really know but I remember some stuff.
I joke that BI survivors are still the same person but it's like a letter is now missing from their name. If you know my real name you can probably figure out the rest of that joke.
- I still know what I know about medicine but am not licensed to practice anything in NJ. Not sure I have the money much less the desire to requalify either.
- I still know the rudiments of software but the tools I knew/know are dinosaurs now.
- I can use power tools again still do a lot of handy work but ladders are out now and I'm not licensed in anything. I could be a helper I suppose but not an independent tradesman, although I did rebuild part of lars' porch this last spring (remember lars?). I also rebuilt our back deck with the help of a local contractor in the summer.
[Drat. I had much more written here but my phone battery died without warning and this was all that had been saved for some reason]
I'll try to remember to add more but please message me if you want to discuss anything privately.
Thanks, folks.