Funerals during quarantine

My best friend from college lost her father this week (not Covid)  They are doing a funeral mass with friends/family this weekend with social distancing, but in a large church so contact isn’t a problem, and I assume mask wearing.

My question is what are the protocols?  I am not Christian, so I don’t really know what to expect during a mass to begin with, much less how I am supposed to behave during quarantine.  Ordinarily I would hug and kiss my friend and then do the gathering afterwards, but I don’t think there is a gathering.  So if anyone knows what happens or what I should do during/after the service, let me know.  I have already decided to attend.


Attended a Zoom funeral recently.  True.    


I am a believer, but I do not identify as Christian, Jewish or Muslim.  When attending services (weddings or funerals) in a denomination other than the one where I go regularly, I just watch people around me and follow their lead.  

If they do something you do not feel comfortable doing (such as crossing themselves or kneeling for the altar), don't.  I have been to Catholic funerals, where they address the non-catholics and tell them how to signal their non-participation in some segment (by crossing their arms).


Stand, when people stand. Kneel (if you wish or are physically able) when they do, If you wish to.. You don't have to "cross" yourself. Sit in the back if you will feel more comfortable. It is likely there will be a hired singer so you will not be asked to sing anything.

Regarding call and response, you obviously won't be able to participate. No one will expect you to.

There may be a communion... 50/50 during virus. Just don't get up when people in your row do so.


The Vulcan "live long and prosper" hand signal is always welcome.


Don't forget your mask! And bring your own hand sanitizer if you have some. 


The family is so fortunate to be able to hold an in person service in memory of their loved one.  Like someone posted above, funeral services around here have been limited to zoom meetings with a memorial service to follow at some point in the future.  Burials are strictly private.  Wakes/viewings/Shiva non-existent due to pandemic related concerns.  As others have mentioned, nobody should expect you to participate in the religious service beyond what makes you feel comfortable. You are there to support your friend and your presence is all that is needed or expected.  Other than that, observe whatever precautions you should normally take during any gathering you might attend at this time:  observe social distancing (no hugs unfortunately), wear a face covering in the proper way, avoid handing your friend a  card or gift (if desired, this is best sent through the mail just now).  Be grateful that you are being offered the opportunity to be there.


Don't go.

Indoor gatherings are significant risks.  You don't seem to have been informed of the social distancing protocol so you cannot be sure it exists, or that masks will be worn.  Singing is very problematic as it becomes clearer that the virus spreads through the air.

I don't mean to be cruel or unfeeling but for your own protection and for the protection of the family in mourning who probably feel obligated to be physically present, reduce the crowd by not attending.


At the risk of sounding glib but by way of advice, -I'm not sure that I would attend my own funeral these days.


My above post is in answer to the questions in the opening post.  However, I have to agree with the above two posters that if at all possible,  you should decline the invitation to attend the funeral.  There is a good reason why so many funerals around here are limited to the deceased immediate bubble and why so many funeral services are being held via an appropriate Internet platform. There are other ways to offer your support that don't require your physical presence.  This will be hard on your friend but in the long run, you will be doing your friend a favor by not attending.



In order to add a comment – you must Join this community – Click here to do so.

Sponsored Business

Find Business

Advertise here!