Calling all nude musicians!

This seems to be real!

I'm looking to hire 1-4 nude musicians to play during an art opening in Manhattan from 6-8pm on March 11th. I am the curator of a show of tasteful nude photographs that reference famous nudes from the history of art, and I'm looking to hire nude musicians to play at the opening. Rate is negotiable.

A nude cellist, a nude jazz duo, a nude string quartet, two naked jazz flautists--these are all ideas of performers who would be perfect to play at our opening. Interested parties, please contact me for more details.


Nude Maplewoodstock? ;-)

That'd be one hell of a jam session.

Is Charlotte Moorman available?


Ummmmm........ (shortened YouTube link because of nudity!!)

Maybe they'll play The Nutcracker.

I guess there will also be an undress rehearsal

Will there be drinks at this event? I play a mean cow bell and I can get naked.

My vote for The Best Thread of 2015!

Would they play in The Secret Garden? I can just imagine! We'd have to wait until after ground bee season! Would be a bit harrowing!

Best Regards,
Ron Carter

Sounds like a great opportunity to make good money and to have a great story to tell afterwards. Wish I played an instrument (and felt comfortable playing it naked in front of a crowd).

No slot for a skin flute?

MOL_Rat said:

No slot for a skin flute?

Thank you. Mouthful of herbal tea all over my keyboard.

As long as they don't sit on the furniture...

MOL_Rat said:

No slot for a skin flute?

Forwarding this to Cormac McCarthy's title editor. Will let you know how it does.

Hmmm. Could add a new dimension to xylophone technique.

plungy said:

Hmmm. Could add a new dimension to xylophone technique.

Rhymes with "glockenspiel".

They've got one genre listed twice - sounds like they're really looking for a swing band.

Nude where it counts, perhaps?

Q: What's better than roses on a piano?
A: Tulips on my organ.


ROTFLOL! You got me, cj! question

C'mon, out of steam on this one already? I expect better from this community.

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