"After you, young man."

Still better than my Mum calling out ‘Merde!’ As I leave for school or Uni on an exam day 

ml1 said:

DaveSchmidt said:

It’s a minefield of pleasantries out there. Be safe.

yup.  have a day that may suck in every way possible, but just don't break your leg.

"Have a nice day."

"I have other plans."

Reads like script from a Tarantino or Cohen Brothers movie.

I notice that I am called "sir" more frequently, as a sign of respect for my advancing age, I suppose. But I don't feel comfortable being packaged that way, either. 

I've been reading this with interest. First of all, I like to interact with people I encounter day to day and if someone says "after you, young man," I take no offence. I'm old-ish but I don't mind.  But, that's just me. (If I was a woman my age, and someone called me "young lady," I'm not sure I'd feel the same way. I, myself,  would never say that it to a man or a woman. I might say, "after you , Sir or Ma'am.")  

Clearly some people are trying to be witty and friendly. I like that. I try to be witty and friendly, too. When waiting for the ATM, and the person at the machine seems to be taking a long time, I sometimes say, "hey, leave some for me, huh."  

With masks, it's hard to read peoples' expressions, you don't have the facial cues on how to proceed.. But I'm rarely offended when someone makes an effort to be friendly. Lots of people are surly and rude, impatient and nasty. I don't want to be like that.

Finally, I live alone and work from home and crave social interaction and conversation with people/strangers. That's why I like going to the supermarket. And why I go to the local pub. And why I'm always interacting with my 2 grown kids. 

Again, the salutation was made after observing my appearance because of my age and making a judgement about it. If the person was a member of a mentally handicapped group, say autistic, would you say, "After you, genius?" Or a dark skinned member of a minority group, "After you, Whitey." Or an underweight, person, "After you, Charles Atlas." You say you are oldish, so you probably get that reference).

Formerlyjerseyjack said:

Again, the salutation was made after observing my appearance because of my age and making a judgement about it. If the person was a member of a mentally handicapped group, say autistic, would you say, "After you, genius?" Or a dark skinned member of a minority group, "After you, Whitey." Or an underweight, person, "After you, Charles Atlas." You say you are oldish, so you probably get that reference).

Context is everything and these kinds of comments are mostly intended to be cute and completely benign.  The example I gave above was with one of my doctors who, I felt, needed to know that his comment wasn’t welcomed by me.  Parenthetically, early in my career I trained physicians on communication skills, so I felt comfortable giving him some feedback so he didn’t make the same mistake with others.  

The_Soulful_Mr_T said:

I've been reading this with interest. First of all, I like to interact with people I encounter day to day and if someone says "after you, young man," I take no offence. I'm old-ish but I don't mind.  But, that's just me. (If I was a woman my age, and someone called me "young lady," I'm not sure I'd feel the same way. I, myself,  would never say that it to a man or a woman. I might say, "after you , Sir or Ma'am.")  

Clearly some people are trying to be witty and friendly. I like that. I try to be witty and friendly, too. When waiting for the ATM, and the person at the machine seems to be taking a long time, I sometimes say, "hey, leave some for me, huh."  

With masks, it's hard to read peoples' expressions, you don't have the facial cues on how to proceed.. But I'm rarely offended when someone makes an effort to be friendly. Lots of people are surly and rude, impatient and nasty. I don't want to be like that.

Finally, I live alone and work from home and crave social interaction and conversation with people/strangers. That's why I like going to the supermarket. And why I go to the local pub. And why I'm always interacting with my 2 grown kids. 

well I would expect nothing less from the soulful mr T…

jeffl said:

Formerlyjerseyjack said:

Again, the salutation was made after observing my appearance because of my age and making a judgement about it. If the person was a member of a mentally handicapped group, say autistic, would you say, "After you, genius?" Or a dark skinned member of a minority group, "After you, Whitey." Or an underweight, person, "After you, Charles Atlas." You say you are oldish, so you probably get that reference).

Context is everything and these kinds of comments are mostly intended to be cute and completely benign.  The example I gave above was with one of my doctors who, I felt, needed to know that his comment wasn’t welcomed by me.  Parenthetically, early in my career I trained physicians on communication skills, so I felt comfortable giving him some feedback so he didn’t make the same mistake with others.  

yes.  that's why the "have a safe day" annoys me.  It's an institutional greeting signed off on at all levels as a communication strategy. It was put in place IIRC after 9/11, as part of the "if you see something" campaign which IMHO does nothing to keep anyone safe, but probably did a lot to put people on edge.

I’m always surprised when a person working for a company says “have a blessed day.”
Does your employer know you’re saying that?
What do you mean by that? Blessed by whom?

Have a nice day and if you can't have one, don't make it bad for everyone else.    

I disagree with everything jeffl says. He's a cranky old man. 

I’m not quite old yet but I’m not so young anymore, but if someone said after you young man, younger or older than me, I’d be a little annoyed. 

I was in a diner this morning. Just me and the newspaper. At one point the waitress came by and said, “is everything alright, young man?”  I couldn’t help but smile broadly having read this thread which came immediately to mind. Not sure how she interpreted my big smile. 
I said, “yes, ma’am, thank you very much.”